Mind you ladies and gentlemen, coming through! Let me get in line for pouring out my long needed advice all over your poor brain, like platitude Bolognese on unquestioning Spaghetti. Or, better yet, let me cut the line right here, as you need to read this before reading anything else, even before minding your own business and going about your day:
There are people out there, who know things. And they know them better than you at that.
They call themselves bloggers. It’s derived from a blog – exactly, the sound a frog utters. Blog, blog.
They think their every line is important enough to stand alone in a solitary paragraph.
They dare saying things like: “You must”, “It’s amazing”, “Don’t ever”, “People should”, “We need”, or even, “Love is”. They use italic and bold characters, to untangle the deepest of their bottom lines.
But, whoever got enough time on their hands to disregard the common sense of subjective realities and individual gusto, and to write a bunch of articles on allegedly enlightened notions right up the cheesy cliché alley they might or might not try to condescendingly unveil, using only ever sentences that are short and concise as though complex syntax had died down on this millennium’s threshold, has probably seized the power of words wrongfully.
Everyone who thinks their said blurbs – excuse me, burps – are important enough to dedicate each catchphrase a separate line, everyone who thinks that we need them, and that they have answered the questions some of the biggest thinkers have cracked their heads on, might very well be full of it.
The ones that actually do know stuff better than us in their respective field of expertise, oftentimes merely gained by experience and thought rather than a formal education, usually have better things to do than croaking about it. That’s the very reason they have good advice, because they’re out there living by their words.
It goes without saying that everyone reading this here right now, yeah you, has failed at today’s challenge of finding something more fulfilling to do than staring at black lines on white screens. You fueled the blogger’s flame, which is rarely ever kindled by true burning passion, when real love is nothing but. Why are you still reading this? Don’t you feel like I hit you enough with this log or frog or blog or whatever it is? Do you prefer to read my mind over reading your own? Fair enough, at times people should do just that. There is food for thought out there and it ain’t all mumbo jumbo Bolognese. In fact, it’s amazing.
But please, you must take the time to reflect upon my words. Don’t ever be embarrassed to make the comments your forum and shout “Smart ass suckaaaaaa” at me in disagreement, then run away laughing, or to stop the hell reading already in agreement.
No, the irony isn’t lost on me.
Yes, I, too, blog now.
Yes, I, too, do the thing with the paragraphs. But in my case it’s different. My stuff is really important.
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